At least these two don’t listen.  No, they think robots are cool enough to let one officiate at their wedding.  See how long you survive when the robot overlords come for flesh.

Japan has hosted the world’s first wedding to be conducted by a robot.

The automated creature, known as the I-Fairy, oversaw the wedding of Tomohiro Shibata and Satoko Inoue in the capital, Tokyo.

The couple decided to use the robot as they are both connected with Japan’s thriving robotics industry.

Since robots had brought them together in the first place, they said, having one officiate at their wedding was a natural choice.

During the ceremony, I-Fairy – which has flashing eyes and plastic pigtails – instructed the groom to lift the bride’s veil for the kiss.

The wedding took part in a rooftop restaurant in the Japanese capital.

A relationship built on robots can’t possibly last.

“Good luck, godspeed and have a little fun up there,” launch director Mike Leinbach told the astronauts just before liftoff. He said he was speaking on behalf of all those who have worked on Atlantis since construction began in 1980.

“Like you said, there are thousands of folks out there who have taken care of this bird for a long time,” replied commander Kenneth Ham. “We’re going to take her on her 32nd flight, and if you don’t mind, we’ll take her out of the barn and make a few more laps around the planet.”

[...]

Alexey Krasnov, chief of the Russian Space Agency’s piloted program, said it was a miracle that Atlantis took off without any delays.

“It looks like that Atlantis is telling us, ‘Please use me again. I am capable,’” he said, smiling. “Maybe two-thirds of the launches were postponed by the weather or hardware … and today it worked exactly as planned.”

If only we could use you again, Atlantis.  ‘Course, you’d think the head of any Russian Space Agency would be thrilled at the vast amounts of cash they will soon be making off of the lack of US spaceships.

German researchers studied what happens in accidents involving robots using sharp tools alongside humans.

They used a robot arm holding a variety of bladed tools programmed to strike test substances that mimic soft tissue.

In some cases, the researchers found, the robots managed to accidentally inflict wounds that would prove “lethal”.

The tests were conducted to see if a prototype safety system could limit the damage done.

The tests involved a robot arm weighing 14kg and a 1.1m reach that was equipped with a variety of bladed household tools including a steak knife, kitchen knife, scissors and screwdriver.

The robot arm was programmed to use the bladed tools to stab and cut a silicone lump, a leg from a dead pig and the arm of a human volunteer.

Striking, stabbing and puncturing tests with the safety system turned off were performed on the silicone and pig leg. Deep cuts resulted in most cases that, the researchers said, could prove to be “lethal” if inflicted on a living subject.

When they turned their programmed safety protocols on, there were fewer potentially lethal “accidents”.  I think my favorite part of this story is that a couple of German scientists decided that they should make a robot arm for the sole purpose of determining if robots could kill.  Well played, German scientists; well played.

The work was conducted by Australian scientists using NASA technology.

The team discovered that 64 percent of the proteins found in the stem cells grown in simulated microgravity were not in control samples. In particular, the bioreactor cells contained several proteins involved in the breakdown of bone and in the regulation of calcium, neither type of which were found in stem cells grown in regular, Earth gravity.

“To the best of our knowledge, this is the first study conducted that has investigated the effect of (simulated microgravity conditions) on an embryonic stem cell line and demonstrated a significant alteration in human cell function as a result of growth in microgravity conditions,” lead scientist Elizabeth Blaber, with the Australian Center for Astrobiology, wrote in a paper presented at a key astrobiology conference in Houston last month.

Which is pretty darn cheap, all things considered.

Actually, I think I would be more interested in how, exactly, the search burlesque turkey cooked leads back to this blog.  Hmmm.

I said try, so don’t hold me to it, damnit.

Anyway, quick note on how awesome Manbearpig continues to be – did you know that he felt the need to spend almost ten million dollars on a giant house in Santa Barbara?  Now, I don’t begrudge the man the right to his millions or the right to spend that how ever the fuck he pleases.  But, I don’t think that having six fireplaces in fucking Southern California is a great way to save the environment.  ‘Course, what do I know?  It’s not like I have Al Gore’s credentials …

Apparently, the Royal Shakespeare Company is debuting a new twist on the Shakespeare classic, by “acting” out the drama over Twitter.  Yeah, you read that right: tweeting Romeo and Juliet.  The production, entitled “Such Tweet Sorrow” (oh, lord, that pun is painful) will be acted out by various performers, who will tweet in, uh, “real time” about their lives, basing their production on a rough outline of the series of events (modernized, obviously).  The twitter-duction will allow the characters to interact not only with each other, but with the audience.

I’m not sure how I feel about this.  I guess we’ll have to wait and see.

“A man and a woman retreated to their Volkswagen to have sex… Most likely the lovers turned on the engine to get warm,” Interfax reported, citing a source in the Moscow police force. During a moment of “intimate closeness,” the pair, in southern Moscow, inhaled the gas and died, the source added.

Many Russians keep their cars in box-like iron garages near their homes, which snugly encase their cars.

So, let this be a lesson to you: if you’re going to fuck in your car, don’t turn on the engine.

One in ten kids thinks that Buzz Lightyear was the first man on the moon?  That Isaac Newton invented the internet (we all know that the internet was Manbearpig’s invention, for heaven’s sake!)?  For the love of little green apples, if my daughter were to give such an answer in a fucking science test – primary school or not – she would be locked in a cupboard with science books to keep her company for a few years!  (No, CPS, I am just kidding, I would not lock her in a cupboard.  I’d lock her in her damn bedroom, though, and fuckin’ right I’d make her learn.)

This makes me super sad.